Trying to come to grips with negative events in your life is hard enough but when they continually haunt you – what is our course of action?
At first we spend time in defense mode – we cry about the injustice and we jump up and down claiming how victimized we are. We get mad!
Then we mourn the loss of our reputation in the eyes of those who bought in to the negative events that occurred.
Then we forgive those who caused it.
Then we repeat the cycle over and over again.
We’re human –we have this thing called the ego that continually needs affirming. We spend so much time worrying about how we are seen in the eyes of one another that we quickly forget that what matters is how we see ourselves and how God sees us (not in that order, of course).
How we see ourselves is important in the healing process when we have been wronged. I know this from personal experience having not only dealt with this but still dealing with it and probably always will. No matter how often we try to put it behind us it always has a way of showing its ugly face. And that hurts our feelings.
Let me ask you what someone recently asked me. Do you think anyone really cares about what happened to you X number of years ago? Something horrible happened to me over ten years ago and still to this day I’m haunted by the lies and deceit and, let’s be honest, by how much my name was dragged through the mud. Yeah, it hurts and I trust that similar situations still bring you a certain amount of pain and emotional discomfort as well. But do we really think we are so significant that people actually spend time, still today, talking about it? I had someone come right out and tell me that chances are a very limited number of people probably remember and even those would need prompting. She was right – perhaps I was hanging on to something that simply didn’t exist and did not matter to anyone else except my ego – my “public” image. No one really cared about it anymore truth or not…they moved forward and lived their lives. While I continually looked back and wanted to repeat it all but this time to change the outcome. It wasn’t going to happen – it was done. I couldn’t change it and all I was doing was hurting myself AND being totally focused on my own ego.
Oh Lord in your infinite mercy you have poured forth justice. You have poured forth forgiveness and you have shown abundant grace. When we refuse to recognize that during our journey, when we continually pull back that scab to grab some kind of attention – remind us that it is finished. Help us to move on and move up and move forward. Help us to put aside this human characteristic of wanting to be seen in this light or the other – help us that even when we are wronged – the only right that matters is our life with you. Help us to show people that by overcoming these obstacles and by claiming YOUR victory in our lives, we can truly be “over it” and see our life moving forward and ever closer to You. Help us, today, to really mean the words of the prayer taught to us by Your Son, when we say
“…forgive us our wrong doings in the exact manner in which we forgive those who do wrong against us”…
In the name of the risen Christ we pray. Amen.